Saturday, February 19, 2011

wardrobe choices from motherland.

how getting dressed has changed since the baby.
step one:  underpants.  this step remains the same, with the slight (at least for now) benefit of not having to worry about whether I should be wearing period underwear.

step two:  socks.  same as pre-baby.  amazing i know.

step three:  pants.  default setting:  yoga pants.  they're black (slimming and hard to see all the dirty), comfy (so as not to interfere with impromptu napping), and most importantly, can be pulled down or up with the use of just one hand, so when you need to go pee with a clingy baby on your lap, you don't have the issue of trying to button up jeans one handed.  *I do occasionally put on jeans if we are going out somewhere.  usually not though.  see:  black re: yopa pants.  makes them acceptable for going out.

step four:  bra.  underwires are right out (clearly)  always go with something that can be yanked down at maximum speed to allow instant booby access to screaming tyrant.  usually either stretchy tanktop (which has added benefit of covering your belly as you whip your boob out should you happen to be in public) or sports bra.

step five:  shirt.  either something low cut (if wearing bra and not tanktop...then can pull down to nurse rather than up avoiding the stomach exposure issue) or something loose enough to pull up easily.  if its is cold, add sweater or hoody that opens in the front with zipper or snaps.  buttons are too slow.

If baby is older than 4 months, you're not ready yet.

step six:  remove all necklaces and earrings.  
step seven:  pull your hair back into a sloppy but hard to reach ponytail.
step eight:  put your contacts in to save your glasses from untimely demise and/or consumption.

Now you are ready to go for the day!  (Until your stellar outfit is pooped on.  Or yarfed on...a lot.  If you're like me, a little vomit or pee will not cause you to change clothes)  Now get the baby dressed.

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