Sunday, June 19, 2011

Dear boobs,

Dear boobs,
I know you put up with a lot.  You are the answer to every. single. problem. that our darling baby has.  fall and bump her head?  boobs!  a little sleepy? boobs!  not feeling so good? boobs!  peckish?  boobs!  teething?  boobs, boobs, boobs. you're constantly being manhandled, exposed, groped, mauled, pinched, and occasionally bit.  You deserve a fucking break.  Unfortunately, there is not one in sight.  However, please know that you are loved, so very very much, by the baby.  also by my husband, who loves me with 'after children boobs' (thank you lindsay for that little gem).  and I appreciate the hard hard work you do, and all the bottles I don't have to make and wash because of you.  You rock, boobs.  
<3,  Mama

Sunday, June 12, 2011


i'm anxious.  and nervous.  and its making me crabby.

i'm going back to work tomorrow.  TOMORROW.  this has suddenly ceased being hypothetical.  its f#$%ing TOMORROW.  I have to set an alarm.  Get up.  Get dressed in some kind of respectable, professional outfit, and get me ass out the door at 7:00 in the morning.  Oh yeah, and leave my adorable, precious, amazing baby with someone else.  Every day.  for the next 7 weeks.  And then for the school year (4 days only).

Someone remind me why this seemed like a good idea?

Well, I'm somewhat bored (note:  i am probably a bad mother for saying this out loud.  aren't good mothers supposed to be endlessly enthralled and entertained by their babies?)  I spend too much time surfing the internet.  The baby's sometimes incessant screechy pteradactyl noises get old fast.  They wear on my nerves like...well, like screechy pteradactyl noises.
I spent 2 years and many thousands of dollars getting qualified to teach.  If I go back to work I will have an excuse to slack off on laundry.  and sweeping.  Although actually then I will just live in filth, since probably Mr. 3rd Year Clinical Rotations isn't going to have any extra time to pick up the slack.  So maybe that isn't a good thing.
I feel like I'm losing my membership card to the stay at home mommy club.  which I liked.  unlike change.  I dislike change.  it makes me uncomfortable.  i probably should have just had another baby.  that would have cut down on the boredom and excessive internet surfing.  although not the dinosaur noises.