title?

i'm anxious.  and nervous.  and its making me crabby.

i'm going back to work tomorrow.  TOMORROW.  this has suddenly ceased being hypothetical.  its f#$%ing TOMORROW.  I have to set an alarm.  Get up.  Get dressed in some kind of respectable, professional outfit, and get me ass out the door at 7:00 in the morning.  Oh yeah, and leave my adorable, precious, amazing baby with someone else.  Every day.  for the next 7 weeks.  And then for the school year (4 days only).

Someone remind me why this seemed like a good idea?

Well, I'm somewhat bored (note:  i am probably a bad mother for saying this out loud.  aren't good mothers supposed to be endlessly enthralled and entertained by their babies?)  I spend too much time surfing the internet.  The baby's sometimes incessant screechy pteradactyl noises get old fast.  They wear on my nerves like...well, like screechy pteradactyl noises.
I spent 2 years and many thousands of dollars getting qualified to teach.  If I go back to work I will have an excuse to slack off on laundry.  and sweeping.  Although actually then I will just live in filth, since probably Mr. 3rd Year Clinical Rotations isn't going to have any extra time to pick up the slack.  So maybe that isn't a good thing.

I feel like I'm losing my membership card to the stay at home mommy club.  which I liked.  unlike change.  I dislike change.  it makes me uncomfortable.  i probably should have just had another baby.  that would have cut down on the boredom and excessive internet surfing.  although not the dinosaur noises.